Survival

I've never been much of a joiner and big groups are not really my thing. All I need are a couple of close friends-easier said than done. I certainly can not replace my Las Vegas friends (that's you, Jodi!), but I also certainly can not stay at home all day with no companionship. For a stay-at-home-mom with no family in town, meeting other moms is an absolute essential.

So, we've been getting out-meeting a lot of really nice moms and kids. I'll pretty much try any play group or baby activity under the sun. Even if I don't like the group (or God forbid, they don't like us!), it's worth a try.

I recently joined a mommy group that meets every other Monday at a church. I was told that the group is not religious or political; however, I was skeptical. I guess I worry that because of the location, the group excludes anyone who wouldn't feel comfortable going to that church. But then my friend told me that volunteers watch the babies for two hours while the moms eat breakfast, drink coffee, and have discussions about motherhood. Well, once I heard that a non-blood-relative would actually volunteer to watch my two babies for TWO WHOLE HOURS, I was like-SIGN ME UP NOW!!! The whole purpose of the group is to give moms support-a break from the daily grind and the chance to connect with other moms. Who would have thought???

I'm with my babies just about 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so let's say that I know them pretty well. And I was fairly certain (99%) that they both would scream the entire time that I was gone. And maybe I'm a 'bad' mom for doing this, but I kind of said to myself-'oh, well, they'll live' and decided to give it a try.

And I was right. Scream, they did. Delaney screamed so loud that I could hear her (ever so slightly) down the hallway through two sets of double doors. For 1 1/2 hours. Per his caretaker, Elliot cried or fussed for all but 20 minutes. When I picked up Delaney, the grandmotherly volunteer said--'wow-you have your hands full, don't you?'-And then actually told me to come back to the next meeting because I 'must really need a break'. So true.

I hate knowing that my babies are upset, especially when I know that my presence would soothe them. So, did I feel badly?--Of course, of course. But I feel guilty about something every day-guilty that I may not be making the right decisions for my family, guilty that one baby is more demanding of my time and energy, guilty that I don't want to make dinner, guilty that what I really want is a nap..... The guilt list goes on forever. But I do need time to myself and a chance to talk to other adults, and Delaney and Elliot certainly need to know that mommy always comes back and that they'll be okay while I'm gone.

I, on the other hand, was child-free for 1 1/2 hours, drank coffee and chatted with really nice mothers, so, all in all, I consider the meeting a success!